Philadelphia Morning

Tonight Jenna and I ventured into day 3 of P90X. It was tough, although I am used to working out my arms and shoulders from years of lifting fridges and what not. It was still tough, though. I find myself feeling very tired.

Every morning since I have started this new life, I have found it very hard to get out of bed. In fact I basically have to drag my heavy body out of bed. Its not a pretty sight. 

From there on its a fight. A fight to walk up a set of stairs. A fight to walk to the coffee shop for my Pastor meetings. A fight to lift my arms to drink water.A fight to eat right. More importantly, its a fight to keep going. To keep fighting for myself, my wife, and my God. It has not been easy so far, and it wont get any easier for a while, and I know that.

People close to me know that if there is one fictional character that I love the most in all of movie history it is Rocky. I never really understood why I had such a bond with Rocky. I used to figure it had something to do with the fact that me and him were both good athletes. Now, I think that God is using this character, somehow, to show me myself. I know its a little weird, and most up tight "christians" would argue that one shouldn't compare one self to a character that is not in the bible. I say shove it.

The way I see it now is that he had to fight his way through life at every level. He was not the smartest, he was not the most skilled, he was not the strongest. But what Rocky had inside his heart was the most fight out of anyone, and that got him to where he was destined to be. He never stopped, even when he was out of shape. I remembered this clip from Rocky (1976) that really displays how I am feeling right now. The first part is him training and struggling, and the second part is him standing alone in the ring before the fight of his life. I see myself at both points...Someone who is struggling and fighting for every space of concrete I walk on, and someone who is getting ready for the fight of his life. 

Keep praying.

P90X day 1

Last night Jenna and I started p90x. We have decided that we will be making a life change for the better. Jenna is fit already, but I need to shed a few (a lot) of pounds.

The program is really good. We did not have a pull up bar last night so we may have gotten off easy.

The discouraging thing for me is that I feel like I am just a shadow of my old self. I can barely even do 10 pushups in a row, and I have been able to do 70 in the past. I feel like it will be a long road back to be being healthy and fit.

Lately I have been feeling a real lack of energy which has become quite evident in my conditioning with our soccer team. I can barely run one time up and down the field without slowing way down to  walk. I also feel very tired at the end of my work day. I mostly sit in a desk all day and read, so this is worry-some as any normal person would not feel tired at the end of the days I have. So here goes nothing. I am hoping to lose 50 pounds and fit into a large shirt by the end of this long road. I also want to go down to a size 36 pant. I am sick of walking into a store and having no clothes that fit me.

A big thanks to my brother Kev for inspiring me to have enough of being mediocre. I need to have the body God intended me to have. I take care of myself mentally and spiritually very well, and now it is time for me to take care of myself physically.

Here is what you can do for me: Keep me accountable. Text me and bug me to keep going. Encourage me, rebuke me. Help me guys! I need to be surrounded by people who wont let me fail. Most of all pray for me. Pray that this will be a watershed moment in my life,  and that I will succeed..